Mad Baggins
by Elemmire2
Summary: Two loose pantoums on Bilbo's Eleventieth. 1. Old Rory weighs in on Bilbo's disappearance in Mad Baggins. 2. Ted Sandyman and his wife argue before the party in The New White Gate.
1. Mad Baggins

  
**Mad Baggins**

I believe that mad Baggins is gone off again!  
But he's left us a party of special magnificence,  
Dancing and feasting for guests and for denizens,  
Let's give a hurrah for Bilbo's munificence!

So here's to a party of special magnificence-  
Let's raise a cheer for eleventy-one,  
Let's give a hurrah for Bilbo's munificence,  
Though he's disappeared we have hardly begun!

Let's raise a cheer for eleventy-one-  
His mind is quite gone though he looks well-preserved  
(For he's disappeared though we've hardly begun)-  
And Frodo has called for more wine to be served.

His mind is quite gone though he looks well-preserved;  
But that is what happens when you go adventuring.  
(Though Frodo has called for more wine to be served;  
He still has some good hobbit sense I'll be venturing.)

But that is what happens when you go adventuring:  
Dear nephew, don't fall for the wizard's old tricks.  
You still have some good hobbit sense I'll be venturing,  
Don't get yourself into something you can't fix.

Dear nephew, don't fall for the wizard's old tricks:  
The flashes of light and the fires and smokes.  
Don't get yourself into something you can't fix;  
There's things past the Brandywine fit for no jokes.

The flashes of light and the fires and smokes,  
Cannot compare to good Tuckborough leaf;  
There's things past the Brandywine fit for no jokes:  
Best stick with our cabbage and corn and roast beef.

No they cannot compare to good Tuckborough leaf  
(Those smokes and those fires that cover his stories).  
Best stick with our cabbage, lad, corn and roast beef.  
O, (with a puff on his pipe) said Old Rory,

His smokes and his fires may cover the story,  
With dancing and feasting for guests and for denizens:  
But, (with a puff on his pipe) said Old Rory,  
I believe that mad Baggins is gone off again!

_This poem was conceived over at lotrplaza, and is my personal attempt before it was merged into a collaborative poem. The poem that follows, "At the new white gate", is my first attempt at the theme._

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Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction, and the characters, settings, places and languages, save those that are original to me, belong to the Tolkien Estate. I am merely playing in their most august sandbox.


	2. At the new white gate

  
**At the new white gate**

_Wife:_ Oh Ted! the party's starting at the new white gate:  
A birthday party of special magnificence  
Where gifts, dance, music, games, food and drink await:  
Promising bounties of Bilbo's munificence!

_Ted:_ A birthday party of special magnificence?  
An old cracked fool-but his parties' familiar,  
Promising bounties of Bilbo's munificence.  
Well he's very rich, and very peculiar.

_Wife:_ A kind cracked fool-, and his parties' familiar!  
Forgive him his oddities and his good fortune  
(Though he's very rich, and very peculiar),  
At least while the food and the dancing run on.

_Ted:_ "Forgive him his oddities and his good fortune!"  
But Bag End's a queer place, and it's folks are queerer  
I'll go while the food and the dancing run on,  
But Baggins are trouble; no nothing is clearer!

_Wife:_ Yes Bag End's a queer place, and its folks are queerer  
But they say that it's tunnels are all lined with _jools_:  
The Baggins are wealthy and nothing is clearer!  
We've seventeen children need feeding, you fool.

_Ted:_ And what if it's tunnels are all lined with _jools_?  
My da's got a mill and a mill's no mere mathom.  
When seventeen children need feeding what _jools_  
Beat taters and cabbages I cannot fathom.

_Wife:_ Forget your da's mill! For a party's no mathom  
When gifts, dance, music, games, food and drink await:  
Who'd want taters and cabbages I cannot fathom-  
Oh Ted! the party's starting at the new white gate.

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Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction, and the characters, settings, places and languages, save those that are original to me, belong to the Tolkien Estate. I am merely playing in their most august sandbox.


End file.
